Tuesday, May 3, 2011

ESPN possesses the GPS location of me and my friends

Last week I showed you guys how Chris Sheridan committed a Jersey Shore level robbery on my Kurt-Thomas-to-the-Knicks request. This week? None other than the sportswriter of our time, Bill Simmons.

"To the Knicks ... why are they keeping Mike D'Antoni again? I say trade him to the Warriors for a second-round pick and let him find his Part 1 of his three-part manifest destiny: coaching a team that scores 110 points a game, can't get a defensive stop, has two guards scoring 30-plus a game and occassionally plays home games that make you say, "158-153 -- is that a bowling score or the score of last night's Warriors game?"

On Sunday, during Game 1 of Heat-Celtics, Crapapples texted me this:

"A game like today's really puts into perspective how bad your Knicks are on D. The Celts went from looking like the '06 Suns to the '03 Pistons."

When I responded that it was exactly why 'Antoni had to go, he unleashed this gem:

"... to the Warriors."

Simmons, you're lucky that Crapapps cares more about owning the rights to sloths than taking the time to bust you. Craps, you can't take text messages "off the record" like Gchat, so suck it.

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