The Immortal Brian Cardinal

In Dirk Nowitzki’s absence, Coach Rick Carlisle has enlisted The Immortal Brian Cardinal to play major minutes for YOUR Dallas Mavericks.

Though born without much athleticism or any distinguishable skills, The Immortal Brian Cardinal has pulled every iota of basketball prowess out that doughy 6’8” frame to produce a stunningly long 11-year career. To boot, I hear he is a nice guy too.

But this guy is an NBA player? He looks like someone who plays in my dad’s rec league on Tuesday nights. Seriously, doesn’t this look like a guy your dad chats with at the coffee machine on Monday morning, talking about how the Bills played on Sunday or how his wife thinks they need a new vacuum, but he knows that the old one works just fine? This got me thinking, if I had to have a starting 5 of “My Dad’s Rec League Teammates Who Are Actually Current NBA Players”, who would compile such a heady roster?

PG: Earl Boykins(Sidenote: I’ve seen Earl play live about 5 or 6 times over the years. No matter where I see him, I always hear an audible snicker from the Staples Center crowd when this 5’5” point comes in….Until he drops 20 on the Lakers and then no one is laughing because he is little – but because that little guy just kicked us in the balls)
SG: Chase BudingerSF: The Immortal Brian Cardinal
PF: Brian Scalabrine
C: Sean Marks
Bench: Gordon Hayward, Jeremy Lin, Grant Hill, Eduardo Najera
Coach: Lawrence Frank
I would go with a “My Dad’s Rec League Teammates Who Are Actually NBA Players From Any Era” starting 5, but I realized that would be any Boston Celtics roster from 1945 until 1969 (minus Bill Russell, of course).